I have to admit that I've been lacking in keeping people posted as to what is going on in my life currently. I've been drained what with camp, followed by Sierra Service Project (SSP), followed by getting sick. So, here it is. Camp was great, as stated previously. I had a week to rejuvenate (which was not enough considering right after SSP I got sick) before heading off to the wonderful Loleta, CA to participate in Sierra Service Project - a project much like Habitat for Humanity, in which we go to an Indian Reservation (this year it was to the Wiyot Tablebluff Reservation) and rebuild homes. It was an interesting and educational experience for me and I enjoyed it very much.
As soon as we got to the little town of Loleta, located about 10 miles south of Eureka, CA., we were divided up into work teams and given a specific project to work on. My team was assigned to Pam's house, which needed new windows installed due to the fact that when the house was originally built 20 years ago, the windows were not properly weather-proofed and caused quite a bit of damage to Pam's home. Our group was the last to participate in this year's project (week 6 of 6) so a lot of the homes were just finishing projects. At first, our work team (which consisted of me, another counselor - Phil - and 8 high school students) had nothing to do. The contractor, Bob (yes Bob, and yes, we called him Bob the builder) was the only one who knew what to do and he was not scheduled to show up until Tuesday afternoon. So the majority of the first 2 days of work consisted of twiddling our thumbs. Finally, on Wednesday, we got to work. Tearing things out and installing insulation, removing screws and rusty nails (no one got cut, thankfully), installing flashing, followed by putting in the new windows and putting up sheet rock. I'm very proud of the kids for everything they contributed that week (and not just the kids on my work team, but the entire SSP group) and how hard they all worked to do something good for others. It really was a positive experience.
As someone who is accostomed to getting to know God through camps, I really wasn't sure of how this experience was going to be. It was a different experience and sometimes, I'm not the best person when it comes to changes (as I'm sure most of you out there are the same). But I have to say that I did get to experience God in the kids that were there. Seeing them do a good deed for others and letting them take things into their own hands was a rewarding experience for me. At the beginning of the week, something felt off to me though, and it took me a couple of days to realize what it was. I'm so used to camp and having the chance to know the other counselors really well. That was not the case here at SSP. I think I was expecting it to be a little more like camp than it actually was and when it wasn't, I was a little disappointed. But that's not to say that I didn't have a wonderful time. It was just different than what I expected. Anyway, the week was great, I made new friends, and got to to something good for someone in need. What more could I ask for?
Upon my return to reality, I was struck with a cold. No doubt due to the fact that I've been running around nonstop for virtually the past month and not getting the ample rest that I needed. But I'm almost all better, with the exception of a nagging cough - which is not helped by the fact that there is now a fire in the area and aggravating the hell out of it. School starts Monday, which will be good. With that comes homework, papers, projects, college apps, and stress, but hopefully I will be able to handle it well and do well this semester. And that, my friends, was my summer.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
More unnecessary rambling...
2 part blog. Part 1: My experience at the DMV.
I recently (and by recently, I mean July 15) received a letter from the DMV stating that effective MARCH 27, 2009 my license was cancelled. WTF, Department of Motor Vehicles? You seriously took 4 MONTHS to send me a letter notifying me of my cancelled license? I've been driving around, thinking nothing was wrong, and here, at any moment, I could have been pulled over by a cop and easily been arrested because I was driving around with a cancelled license. That made me so unbelieveably angry! So I call the number that they provided to try and settle it over the phone, you know, so I wouldn't have TO DRIVE over there (illegally, mind you) and have to deal with it in person. I was willing to pay the $58 fee ($28 for my renewal, and $30 for the returned check, in which I was not notified that it was returned). But, the guy said no. I had to go and deal with it in person. I was scheduled to go out of town the following week, so I put it off until Monday. I went Monday afternoon (my mother drove me and, thanks to her as well as texting a good friend, I managed not to go completely crazy and yell at everyone and their mother). I just have to say that was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I waited in line to receive a number for an hour, followed by another 20 minute wait once I got my number. If that wasn't bad enough, when I was called, I was told to wait for a supervisor, which took another 1/2 hour. The girl calls me back up and I begin to give her the cash to pay the fee and she then directs me to the cashier. I finally pay the fee and she then says that I'm gonna have to start the whole process over again and pay an additional $28 to get a new license. I say, "No. I'm not paying for YOUR mistake." I was waived the fee but then they tell me that I have to take a new picture for the new license, so my mom then asks if I'm getting a new license number. The girl says, "No, it'll be the same number." WTF? Then why do I have to stand in yet, ANOTHER line to take a picture in which I will end up looking like some kind of mass murderer or the Wild Woman from Borneo because I'm so pissed off? UGH. Needless to say, when I saw the pamphlet that said "How are we doing?" I filled it out with a rather long complaint and asked for a response. UGH. I hate the DMV.
Part 2: I hate what I'm becoming.
Not as a person in general. Just with certain aspects of my life. I've been texting a friend recently (a guy) and am beginning to have a crush on him. He's really sweet, but I'm driving myself crazy. That's really it. It's not that I don't want to like him, it's just that I want to like him, but in a non-crazy way. Like, I don't want to FREAK out when he doesn't text me back, or constantly check his myspace for recent activity. I really hate being a girl sometimes. Whatever. UGH.
That's my life in a nutshell right now. I am leaving for SSP (Sierra Service Project) in a couple of days and am REALLY excited. It's kind of like Habitat for Humanity in which we (me and some of the youth from my church) go to an Indian Reservation (this year it's to the Wiyot Indian Reservation in Loleta, CA - about 250mi north of San Fransisco) and help repair and build houses. I'm so excited that I get to go this year and can't wait to see what the week holds for me!
I recently (and by recently, I mean July 15) received a letter from the DMV stating that effective MARCH 27, 2009 my license was cancelled. WTF, Department of Motor Vehicles? You seriously took 4 MONTHS to send me a letter notifying me of my cancelled license? I've been driving around, thinking nothing was wrong, and here, at any moment, I could have been pulled over by a cop and easily been arrested because I was driving around with a cancelled license. That made me so unbelieveably angry! So I call the number that they provided to try and settle it over the phone, you know, so I wouldn't have TO DRIVE over there (illegally, mind you) and have to deal with it in person. I was willing to pay the $58 fee ($28 for my renewal, and $30 for the returned check, in which I was not notified that it was returned). But, the guy said no. I had to go and deal with it in person. I was scheduled to go out of town the following week, so I put it off until Monday. I went Monday afternoon (my mother drove me and, thanks to her as well as texting a good friend, I managed not to go completely crazy and yell at everyone and their mother). I just have to say that was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I waited in line to receive a number for an hour, followed by another 20 minute wait once I got my number. If that wasn't bad enough, when I was called, I was told to wait for a supervisor, which took another 1/2 hour. The girl calls me back up and I begin to give her the cash to pay the fee and she then directs me to the cashier. I finally pay the fee and she then says that I'm gonna have to start the whole process over again and pay an additional $28 to get a new license. I say, "No. I'm not paying for YOUR mistake." I was waived the fee but then they tell me that I have to take a new picture for the new license, so my mom then asks if I'm getting a new license number. The girl says, "No, it'll be the same number." WTF? Then why do I have to stand in yet, ANOTHER line to take a picture in which I will end up looking like some kind of mass murderer or the Wild Woman from Borneo because I'm so pissed off? UGH. Needless to say, when I saw the pamphlet that said "How are we doing?" I filled it out with a rather long complaint and asked for a response. UGH. I hate the DMV.
Part 2: I hate what I'm becoming.
Not as a person in general. Just with certain aspects of my life. I've been texting a friend recently (a guy) and am beginning to have a crush on him. He's really sweet, but I'm driving myself crazy. That's really it. It's not that I don't want to like him, it's just that I want to like him, but in a non-crazy way. Like, I don't want to FREAK out when he doesn't text me back, or constantly check his myspace for recent activity. I really hate being a girl sometimes. Whatever. UGH.
That's my life in a nutshell right now. I am leaving for SSP (Sierra Service Project) in a couple of days and am REALLY excited. It's kind of like Habitat for Humanity in which we (me and some of the youth from my church) go to an Indian Reservation (this year it's to the Wiyot Indian Reservation in Loleta, CA - about 250mi north of San Fransisco) and help repair and build houses. I'm so excited that I get to go this year and can't wait to see what the week holds for me!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Camp!
Camp has come and gone this year and I have to say that it was a great year. We had a good staff and really awesome campers. I learned a lot from them and I hope they learned a lot from me as well. I seriously can't imagine my life without camp. It has changed my life in more ways than I can think of and I've made some of the best decisions of my life at camp. For that, I am greatful. Camp has become a mainstay for me and I intend to do it for as long as I can because it is an amazing experience to learn what kids think about God and that gives me new perspectives that I either thought about and forgot, or didn't even think about until it was mentioned.
Most of the staff consists of former campers, that, at one point or another, were so inspired by their experience at camp that they decided to become couselors and hopefully influence people in a way that they were as young individuals. I wish I cold say the same. Although I was a camper for 2 years, I don't really remember much of my experience at camp as a camper. In 2005, I was going through some changes in my life - one being a change of churches. My church was going through financial difficulties so the members decided to merge with another United Methodist church in the area. We made our change and started attending the new church. At the same time, I was deciding what I was going to do for the summer and decided it would be a neat experience to be a camp counselor. It was my mom that told me that our new associate pastor, Allan Strout, was the Dean of our church district's Jr. High camp. I don't remember calling him, but the next thing I knew, I was talking to him on the phone and accepting a position on the staff for that same summer. And my life has been changed ever since.
Camp has helped get me through the toughest time in my life and without it (among other people) I literally would not be here and I just felt the need to share my amazing experience with you all.
Most of the staff consists of former campers, that, at one point or another, were so inspired by their experience at camp that they decided to become couselors and hopefully influence people in a way that they were as young individuals. I wish I cold say the same. Although I was a camper for 2 years, I don't really remember much of my experience at camp as a camper. In 2005, I was going through some changes in my life - one being a change of churches. My church was going through financial difficulties so the members decided to merge with another United Methodist church in the area. We made our change and started attending the new church. At the same time, I was deciding what I was going to do for the summer and decided it would be a neat experience to be a camp counselor. It was my mom that told me that our new associate pastor, Allan Strout, was the Dean of our church district's Jr. High camp. I don't remember calling him, but the next thing I knew, I was talking to him on the phone and accepting a position on the staff for that same summer. And my life has been changed ever since.
Camp has helped get me through the toughest time in my life and without it (among other people) I literally would not be here and I just felt the need to share my amazing experience with you all.
Friday, June 19, 2009
I'm very proud of myself!
I'm getting good grades for the first time since...since...I can't even remember. It's a good feeling knowing that I've worked hard and am being rewarded for it. I'm really on my way to getting my GPA raised!
Another good thing is that my counselor says I don't need to take any summer classes, which will allow me to do fun things like go to the beach and get tattoos and go to theme parks (finances permitting, as my job at school is being threatened due to budget cuts). This should be a good summer!
Another good thing is that my counselor says I don't need to take any summer classes, which will allow me to do fun things like go to the beach and get tattoos and go to theme parks (finances permitting, as my job at school is being threatened due to budget cuts). This should be a good summer!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Thoughts...
I have somewhat of a dilema. I need to come up with a bible study for camp. Now, usually this isn't really a problem for me, but the particular bible versus I need to study deal with equality. The thing that bothers me the most about this is that the first thing that came to my head when dealing with equality is something that is considered inappropriate to talk about at a Jr. High church camp. It's gay marriage. With everything that the LBGT community has been facing with Prop 8 lately, that subject was of course the first thing to pop into my head. But I fear that if I talk about it at camp, parents will be less than thrilled that their child will have learned about gay marriage at a church camp. So, now I have to come up with something else to talk about. One story that popped up in my head was the story of the Rainbow Fish, and I can definitely use that as a vehicle for the subject but I need a personal story. Any suggestions? I guess it's a good thing that I'm going to a staff training session this weekend. Maybe I'll get some ideas there.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
F my life...
Before I start, let me just say that if you don't want to hear me bitch and complain, don't read any further.
Before I even got to work this morning, people were pissing me off. I was driving to work and I got to an intersection where my light was red. I was looking around and I saw this guy walking. The thing about it though was that he was walking across the street when his light (also mine) was red. It really pissed me off because it made me think that if this guy gets hit by a car crossing the intersection legally, it's gonna be the driver's fault because "The pedestrian always has the right of way." WTF man? So, even when this guy is breaking the law and being a dumb ass idiot, it's the driver's fault for hitting him. I HATE that. So right away, my day started off with me getting mad.
Then, I get to work. Currently, I have posted 22 class cancellations on the school website and with those cancellations, I have to fill out faculty absence sheets, class cancellation notices to go on the classroom door, and take (thankfully not all 22) them to their locations. That's not such a bad thing because that's happened before, but the thing that gets me angry about some of these teachers is that:
1. Sometimes, they neglect to give me important information, like, their name or the class they teach. This causes me to have to search around for the teacher's name or class which takes up time and makes me irritated because these teachers are supposed to be competent enough to know that we can't just assume we know who's talking on the phone.
2. They sometimes give me the wrong class information or location. Like, this morning I had a chemistry teacher call in sick and she said that her class was located in one room but it was in another room, which then caused me to have to go back and post another notice on the correct room.
3. A lot of times, teachers call in at the last possible minute, literally, to cancel their class. I HATE THAT MOST OF ALL! Because not only does it make me have to go to the class and announce that their class is cancelled, but then I have to answer questions like, "Why do you wait until the last minute to post these?" and "How far in advance are teachers supposed to call in their absence?" and deal with disgruntled students because this is their only class that they had today and they drove 20 miles in the rain to get here and now they don't have a reason to be here. I feel like saying to them, "Tell this to your douche bag teacher because I didn't get the call until two minutes before I showed up," but I'm too nice, plus I'm pretty sure I'd get penalized by my boss for saying something like that.
But, on days like these when I'm angry, my co-workers make it better by playing loud disco music, as Sonik just did as I was writing this. They're definately the reason why I haven't quit yet because if I had to deal with crummy co-workers AND crummy teachers, I would've quit long ago.
That is my rant for the day. Hope you've enjoyed it.
Before I even got to work this morning, people were pissing me off. I was driving to work and I got to an intersection where my light was red. I was looking around and I saw this guy walking. The thing about it though was that he was walking across the street when his light (also mine) was red. It really pissed me off because it made me think that if this guy gets hit by a car crossing the intersection legally, it's gonna be the driver's fault because "The pedestrian always has the right of way." WTF man? So, even when this guy is breaking the law and being a dumb ass idiot, it's the driver's fault for hitting him. I HATE that. So right away, my day started off with me getting mad.
Then, I get to work. Currently, I have posted 22 class cancellations on the school website and with those cancellations, I have to fill out faculty absence sheets, class cancellation notices to go on the classroom door, and take (thankfully not all 22) them to their locations. That's not such a bad thing because that's happened before, but the thing that gets me angry about some of these teachers is that:
1. Sometimes, they neglect to give me important information, like, their name or the class they teach. This causes me to have to search around for the teacher's name or class which takes up time and makes me irritated because these teachers are supposed to be competent enough to know that we can't just assume we know who's talking on the phone.
2. They sometimes give me the wrong class information or location. Like, this morning I had a chemistry teacher call in sick and she said that her class was located in one room but it was in another room, which then caused me to have to go back and post another notice on the correct room.
3. A lot of times, teachers call in at the last possible minute, literally, to cancel their class. I HATE THAT MOST OF ALL! Because not only does it make me have to go to the class and announce that their class is cancelled, but then I have to answer questions like, "Why do you wait until the last minute to post these?" and "How far in advance are teachers supposed to call in their absence?" and deal with disgruntled students because this is their only class that they had today and they drove 20 miles in the rain to get here and now they don't have a reason to be here. I feel like saying to them, "Tell this to your douche bag teacher because I didn't get the call until two minutes before I showed up," but I'm too nice, plus I'm pretty sure I'd get penalized by my boss for saying something like that.
But, on days like these when I'm angry, my co-workers make it better by playing loud disco music, as Sonik just did as I was writing this. They're definately the reason why I haven't quit yet because if I had to deal with crummy co-workers AND crummy teachers, I would've quit long ago.
That is my rant for the day. Hope you've enjoyed it.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Kürtőskalács!!!
After 3 LONG years of searching for the name of the most delicious tasting pastry I've ever had, I have succeeded! It's called Kürtőskalács. The english translation is: Stove Cake. It's a Hungarian pastry that comes from the Transylvanian region of Hungary. They are typically eaten at celebratory events like weddings and Christenings but they are frequently sold to tourists in Budapest, which is where I fell in love with this delicious gift from heaven. You have no idea how incredibly excited I am about this!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Share the good news! Celebration!
A few months ago, I posted a blog about my Aunt Cheryl and how she was given one year to live. There was cancer found in the lining of her brain and it was inoperable. She decided to undergo radiation therapy. Then, about a month ago, she was told that she had lost 90% of her kidney function and that kidney failure was going to kill her before the cancer would. Her doctors took her off most of the medication she was on and hoped for the best. Well, I am now proud to say that as of her last PET scan and blood work, there is no signs of cancer in the brain and she is gaining function back in her kidneys! The doctor said that her "death sentence" has been lifted! This is the best news I've received in a long time. It seemed like everytime she went into her doctor's office during the past 2 or 3 months, she was receiving bad news about her condition. And although the doctor told her that the specific chemotherapy she has to take for the cancer is running out, it doesn't matter because she now has longer than 1 year to live! BEST NEWS I'VE RECEIVED ALL WEEK!!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Why do I keep doing things that go against my morals?
It only sets me up for a world of hurt. Is it because I need to experience humility? Because I have. On more than one occassion at this point. I'm now disappointed in myself, in others, hurt by said others, etc. I'm angry, frustrated, sad all because I did something I shouldn't have. Ugh. And I can't stop thinking about it either. And about the other person involved (actually, they are all I've thought about the past couple of days). I hate that. I'm trying not to regret what I did because regretting it doesn't change the fact that it happened. I just need to move on. I need to refocus and work towards achieving my goals. But it's easier said than done when you can't get your mind off of someone. Please don't let this hurt like it did the last time someone hurt me because I honestly can't take it. I know I probably won't survive it because I barely survived the last time. I have to move on. Hopefully I can.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
You can dance, you can jive!
Warning: the following contains just random thoughts that are running through my head.
As I listen to the song "Dancing Queen" more and more, I have come to realize that it is my favorite song. Not because it is well written (because I know songs that are well written, and this is not one of them), but because it is an upbeat, "Celebrate Life!" type of song. And it reminds me of a time in life when I was young(er) and carefree. And, it reminds me of Alex and Phi doing their gay dance during Unconcert which ALWAYS makes me laugh, even 7 years later. This song, no matter what mood I'm in (and lately, I've been in a bad mood), always brightens my day.
Visions that run through my mind on a consistent basis: Running around the UN trying to save the world from cruelties beyond our grasp. And teaching high school government; being that teacher that truly inspires her kids; if I do become a government teacher, one thing I'd implement in my class is holding elections so that my kids know what to expect and then I would use their votes to decide who I should vote for because I see my vote as counting for the amount of kids I teach. UCLA. Maybe Occidental. Meeting someone special and starting a family.That's it.
As I listen to the song "Dancing Queen" more and more, I have come to realize that it is my favorite song. Not because it is well written (because I know songs that are well written, and this is not one of them), but because it is an upbeat, "Celebrate Life!" type of song. And it reminds me of a time in life when I was young(er) and carefree. And, it reminds me of Alex and Phi doing their gay dance during Unconcert which ALWAYS makes me laugh, even 7 years later. This song, no matter what mood I'm in (and lately, I've been in a bad mood), always brightens my day.
Visions that run through my mind on a consistent basis: Running around the UN trying to save the world from cruelties beyond our grasp. And teaching high school government; being that teacher that truly inspires her kids; if I do become a government teacher, one thing I'd implement in my class is holding elections so that my kids know what to expect and then I would use their votes to decide who I should vote for because I see my vote as counting for the amount of kids I teach. UCLA. Maybe Occidental. Meeting someone special and starting a family.That's it.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
On being a hermit.
In recent weeks, I've realized that I have become somewhat of a hermit. I guess it's mostly due to the fact that I'm trying rather hard to keep my grades up. Since the last summer session, I've been averaging a 3.0 GPA, however, due to my past laziness, my overall GPA is currently a 2.94. But all is not lost. If everything goes according to my plan, I should have a 3.0 by the end of the semester (possibly higher if I get a C on that Poli Sci final that I had to makeup earlier this week. I took an "incomplete" for one of my Poli Sci classes that I took in fall because at the end of the semester I got incredibly sick and missed like 2 weeks of class). So, for now, this is my life.
As much as I am loving the fact that I am getting good grades, I've come to realize that I miss socializing with people. I seem to have distanced myself from the people around me and am in this sort of state of "friend limbo," as I like to call it because I don't feel connected to the people I usually hang out with anymore. I've come to think that maybe I don't fit in anymore because I have a different plan than they do. And by that, I mean that my plan is to actually move on from a community college. I seem to get frustrated with them when they don't go to their classes, but I feel like I shouldn't judge them because it was not that long ago that I was the same way. I think this is also contributing to my "hermit-ness."
I've also been looking into the colleges that I want to apply to. Doing this is getting me so excited to transfer. Right now, my top two choices are UCLA and Occidental (they're really tied for first at this point), followed by Berkeley. And the more colleges I look at, the more I feel the need to apply to not just one or two, but I feel I should apply to like 10 just to make sure that I get in somewhere (because I have this fear that the schools will look at my past grades and say, "She's had a lot of withdrawls and a couple of F's, I don't think we should let her in"). I'm just being prepared I guess.
I wish I could say that my life is more exciting right now, but really, this is about it. And, thus, I'm ending this blog abruptly.
As much as I am loving the fact that I am getting good grades, I've come to realize that I miss socializing with people. I seem to have distanced myself from the people around me and am in this sort of state of "friend limbo," as I like to call it because I don't feel connected to the people I usually hang out with anymore. I've come to think that maybe I don't fit in anymore because I have a different plan than they do. And by that, I mean that my plan is to actually move on from a community college. I seem to get frustrated with them when they don't go to their classes, but I feel like I shouldn't judge them because it was not that long ago that I was the same way. I think this is also contributing to my "hermit-ness."
I've also been looking into the colleges that I want to apply to. Doing this is getting me so excited to transfer. Right now, my top two choices are UCLA and Occidental (they're really tied for first at this point), followed by Berkeley. And the more colleges I look at, the more I feel the need to apply to not just one or two, but I feel I should apply to like 10 just to make sure that I get in somewhere (because I have this fear that the schools will look at my past grades and say, "She's had a lot of withdrawls and a couple of F's, I don't think we should let her in"). I'm just being prepared I guess.
I wish I could say that my life is more exciting right now, but really, this is about it. And, thus, I'm ending this blog abruptly.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
30 Hours
Thursday, February 19, 2009
1 year
One year, to some, can seem like a long time. But for others, it's not enough; like to someone who is given only one year to live. My aunt (really my mom's best friend, but she's more like family than even my own) was given one year to live earlier this week. She's fighting cancer for the fifth time in 16 years. I'm still in shock by the news because she's always beat it before and now, she's not. I don't know what to do. I'm in shock, I'm angry/frustrated, I'm sad, all at once. It's not fair. But, I know, life isn't fair. But she's come so far. And now, FIVE TIMES, all for nothing. NOTHING. This sucks. She's not gonna get to see her children get married, or get to see her grandkids (and what sucks even more is that she would make an awesome grandmother, and I know how much she wants to be a grandmother). I'm so upset. I don't want to lose her. Nobody does. Ugh.
Now, with that said, I guess we have to make the best of it. And I intend to. Every chance I get, every moment I get to spend with her, I will treasure it. DEARLY. Because she's an AMAZING woman and I love her like a second mother. If you were to ask me who my heroes are, she would MOST DEFINITELY be one of them, just because she's managed to fight cancer not once, but FIVE TIMES. I know that if I were in her shoes, I would have given up long ago, but by her being such a fighter, it just goes to show how amazing she truly is. And for that, I will always be grateful for her.
But, that doesn't mean that I can't still pray for a miracle. And believe me, I'm praying. I think a lot of us are due for some kind of miracle and I hope that she gets one. Because she deserves it, more than anyone.
P.S. I know that it isn't for nothing, because she lived a great life. I mean it in a different way than what everyone else thinks and it's hard for me to explain it to everyone so before you all start saying "It wasn't all for nothing," just realize that I mean it differently than what you might think.
Now, with that said, I guess we have to make the best of it. And I intend to. Every chance I get, every moment I get to spend with her, I will treasure it. DEARLY. Because she's an AMAZING woman and I love her like a second mother. If you were to ask me who my heroes are, she would MOST DEFINITELY be one of them, just because she's managed to fight cancer not once, but FIVE TIMES. I know that if I were in her shoes, I would have given up long ago, but by her being such a fighter, it just goes to show how amazing she truly is. And for that, I will always be grateful for her.
But, that doesn't mean that I can't still pray for a miracle. And believe me, I'm praying. I think a lot of us are due for some kind of miracle and I hope that she gets one. Because she deserves it, more than anyone.
P.S. I know that it isn't for nothing, because she lived a great life. I mean it in a different way than what everyone else thinks and it's hard for me to explain it to everyone so before you all start saying "It wasn't all for nothing," just realize that I mean it differently than what you might think.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Family
This past weekend was a lot about family. I guess that's what I get for going to my cousin's wedding. Actually, she's my 2nd cousin (my mom and her dad are 1st cousins) but I'm closer to her that my 1st cousins on that side of the family. Anyway, a lot of the family stuff was good (hello? It's a wedding. Of course it's good!) But some of it was not so good. There is one particular uncle that was there that we were once close to, but since my grandmother passed away, we've had some issues. He's not accepting of my sister at all which is sad because she's so wonderful and he doesn't even realize it. Nor does he care.
So Sunday, the day after the wedding, my mom's cousin had a family gathering at his house and invited all of the out of towners to be able to spend time with each other. It was nice and wonderful to spend time with some family that I had only met the day before as well as those that I've known for ages. We had to leave around 3 in order to make it home at a decent hour and when we left, my mom's cousin mentioned something about said uncle. My mom went into detail about how they don't get along and he said that he never understood why all of a sudden they (he and my uncle) were not so close, because they used to be more like brothers. We all got to talking and my mom came to the conclusion that it's because we don't fit a certain standard that my uncle has for people.
That makes me angry. That sort of thing doesn't matter when it comes to family because they're FAMILY. I can't stand that. It really sucks because if he would just get off of his damn high horse and see that at the end of the day, it's not about how much money you make or who you impress, but how much you are loved by others. By him doing this, he's losing the love and respect of his own flesh and blood and that is just sad. Ugh, whatever. I just needed to get that off of my chest.
So Sunday, the day after the wedding, my mom's cousin had a family gathering at his house and invited all of the out of towners to be able to spend time with each other. It was nice and wonderful to spend time with some family that I had only met the day before as well as those that I've known for ages. We had to leave around 3 in order to make it home at a decent hour and when we left, my mom's cousin mentioned something about said uncle. My mom went into detail about how they don't get along and he said that he never understood why all of a sudden they (he and my uncle) were not so close, because they used to be more like brothers. We all got to talking and my mom came to the conclusion that it's because we don't fit a certain standard that my uncle has for people.
That makes me angry. That sort of thing doesn't matter when it comes to family because they're FAMILY. I can't stand that. It really sucks because if he would just get off of his damn high horse and see that at the end of the day, it's not about how much money you make or who you impress, but how much you are loved by others. By him doing this, he's losing the love and respect of his own flesh and blood and that is just sad. Ugh, whatever. I just needed to get that off of my chest.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
My OCD in packing items
I'm leaving for a quick trip to Arizona tomorrow for my cousin's wedding. I realized today, just how incredibly OCD I can be when I'm packing things. I have to have everything that is mine in MY luggage. My mom has offered countless times to put things of mine in with her stuff but I can't stand it. I gave in to her offer of taking my dress for the wedding and putting it in her garment bag. It kills me. I don't know what it is about not having control over my stuff that bothers me so. I just like knowing that it is safe. Anyway, I leave at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning but hopefully I'll be able to have some rest and relaxation this weekend. We'll see...
Monday, January 26, 2009
Save the arts!
I was driving by my High School today and saw on the marquee that their Marching Band needs new uniforms. So here is what I ask of you: donate money to Glendale High School's Marching Band so they can get new uniforms. The arts are so important in developing basic skills and continually the arts suffer greatly when budgets are cut from schools. So I beg of you to donate money to help support the arts in schools. Even if you don't donate to GHS, you can always find a school in your area to give to. If you are interested in donating to GHS you can make checks out to Glendale High School and in the memo line put: Band. If you need an address, contact me and I'll get it to you. Thank you kindly for your time.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Ranting...
I just had to deal with an angry student here at work. And he's angry for no real reason. Apparently, he got a bad grade on an essay exam and his teacher (whom I've had before) won't let him see the essay. In reality, where the rest of us live, the teacher was teaching a class right after the student demanded to see his test and the teacher could not access it. The student got upset and wanted to see the division chairperson of the division the teacher works in. According to the school's bylaws, the teacher has the right to keep tests but has to allow the student to see them. This student wants to make a copy of the test so he can use it to study for the next test. But this particular teacher does not base future tests on previous ones. So the student is getting upset over nothing because making a copy of the test will not do him any good. And, because he's so angry, he's making everybody that he deals with incredibly frustrated. I hate when that happens.
Also, I read my friend Libby's blog this morning about how frustrated she was having to wait in line at the Social Security Office in order to get paperwork to go on disability. She recently had a blood clot in her leg that has managed to cause some pretty severe problems for her and her doctors thought it best to put her on disability for the time being. Anyway, her ranting blog about the Social Security System became a ranting blog about immigrants and Americans. I won't go into specific detail, but it definitely made me think about how our nation needs to come down harsher on illegal immigrants. I've always felt that way, especially since I started paying taxes. I'm doing everything by the book, and yet, these people who come here illegally are able to get Social Security numbers and driver's licenses? This is where MY hard earned money is going? WTF Uncle Sam? And it also made me think about a complaint that my mom has always had: seniors immigrating to America AFTER they've retired from their jobs in their home country and reaping the benefits of MY hard earned Social Security benefits. Again, WTF Uncle Sam? It doesn't make any sense. Ugh.
On a better note, I'm doing surprisingly well in my classes. Actually, I'm doing exceedingly well. Like, getting 95% on my tests well. That makes me happy. I'm well on my way to raising that GPA!
Also, I read my friend Libby's blog this morning about how frustrated she was having to wait in line at the Social Security Office in order to get paperwork to go on disability. She recently had a blood clot in her leg that has managed to cause some pretty severe problems for her and her doctors thought it best to put her on disability for the time being. Anyway, her ranting blog about the Social Security System became a ranting blog about immigrants and Americans. I won't go into specific detail, but it definitely made me think about how our nation needs to come down harsher on illegal immigrants. I've always felt that way, especially since I started paying taxes. I'm doing everything by the book, and yet, these people who come here illegally are able to get Social Security numbers and driver's licenses? This is where MY hard earned money is going? WTF Uncle Sam? And it also made me think about a complaint that my mom has always had: seniors immigrating to America AFTER they've retired from their jobs in their home country and reaping the benefits of MY hard earned Social Security benefits. Again, WTF Uncle Sam? It doesn't make any sense. Ugh.
On a better note, I'm doing surprisingly well in my classes. Actually, I'm doing exceedingly well. Like, getting 95% on my tests well. That makes me happy. I'm well on my way to raising that GPA!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Dear Mr. President,
As we embark on a 4 year journey, I just have a couple of requests: Please don't screw up things any more than they are screwed up now. And try your hardest to follow through on the promises you've made to everybody. That is all. I'm tired of living in a country where its leaders are constantly NOT following through on the promises they made when they needed the vote.
I feel very fortunate to live in a country where one man's words are coming true today that people are not being "judged by the color of [one's] skin but by the content of their own character." And although this is not happening in evey aspect of life, the new leader of this great nation signifies hundreds of years of fighting for this particular human right.
God Bless America!
I feel very fortunate to live in a country where one man's words are coming true today that people are not being "judged by the color of [one's] skin but by the content of their own character." And although this is not happening in evey aspect of life, the new leader of this great nation signifies hundreds of years of fighting for this particular human right.
God Bless America!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
WEIRD
Before I start my weird dream story that I know all of you will love, I have to say this: I have probably the most gorgeous fireman neighbor ever. He's my age, and we've lived down the street from each other since we were in diapers. The entire family is filled with great people and anytime I go over there to ask for various things, I always manage to stay there for like an hour because I love talking with anyone of those amazing people. Ok, so here's my dream:
I was talking with "hot neighbor's" mom (no doubt borrowing a cup of sugar or something) and as I was walking back home, I come across this girl that looks familiar to me. I quickly remember seeing her picture on "hot neighbor's" myspace and realizing that she's his girlfriend. I decided to introduce myself. I said, "Excuse me, this may sound weird but are you [hot neighbor's] girlfriend?" She said yes and I replied, "Oh I thought so. My name is Marianne, I'm his neighbor. I recognized you from his myspace." Well, I guess that was the WRONG thing to say to her because she immediately assumed that I was trying to steal him away (which I was not) and proceeded to be a full on bitch to me. I was like, "Look, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm not trying to steal him away. I was just trying to be nice."
Then all of a sudden, I'm snowboarding (because I clearly cannot ski) with some friends and run into "hot neighbor" and his girlfriend. I guess she decided to just tag along because she did not have the gear, but he did. I invited him to join us on the slopes and he was like, "Ok." But she wasn't. Again, she started accusing me of wanting to steal her boyfriend. Again, I said that I wasn't, that I was just being a friend.
Cut to me, "hot neighbor," and "bitchy insecure girlfriend" trapped inside an auto garage together in which some pretty sweet ass hot rods were there, plus the Delorean Time Machine from Back to the Future (apparently, it was an ACTUAL time machine). But they were using it as a simulator type thing. While the girlfriend was wandering somewhere in the oblivion, I asked my hot neighbor why he was with her because he was obviously bothered by how bitchy she was acting. And then I woke up.
Strange, I know.
I was talking with "hot neighbor's" mom (no doubt borrowing a cup of sugar or something) and as I was walking back home, I come across this girl that looks familiar to me. I quickly remember seeing her picture on "hot neighbor's" myspace and realizing that she's his girlfriend. I decided to introduce myself. I said, "Excuse me, this may sound weird but are you [hot neighbor's] girlfriend?" She said yes and I replied, "Oh I thought so. My name is Marianne, I'm his neighbor. I recognized you from his myspace." Well, I guess that was the WRONG thing to say to her because she immediately assumed that I was trying to steal him away (which I was not) and proceeded to be a full on bitch to me. I was like, "Look, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm not trying to steal him away. I was just trying to be nice."
Then all of a sudden, I'm snowboarding (because I clearly cannot ski) with some friends and run into "hot neighbor" and his girlfriend. I guess she decided to just tag along because she did not have the gear, but he did. I invited him to join us on the slopes and he was like, "Ok." But she wasn't. Again, she started accusing me of wanting to steal her boyfriend. Again, I said that I wasn't, that I was just being a friend.
Cut to me, "hot neighbor," and "bitchy insecure girlfriend" trapped inside an auto garage together in which some pretty sweet ass hot rods were there, plus the Delorean Time Machine from Back to the Future (apparently, it was an ACTUAL time machine). But they were using it as a simulator type thing. While the girlfriend was wandering somewhere in the oblivion, I asked my hot neighbor why he was with her because he was obviously bothered by how bitchy she was acting. And then I woke up.
Strange, I know.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
This entry was supposed to be witty...
...but alas, it won't be. Something happened to me yesterday that made me want to write a ranting blog about stupid people and some of my pet peeves, but I seem to have forgotten exactly what it was I wanted to write about. Oh well, I guess it wasn't that important.
However, something else happened to me yesterday. And it made me think about people from my past. For some reason, I wasn't receiving any text messages on my phone and I thought it was just because people weren't sending them. But, all of a sudden, in the middle of class, I received like 8 messages from various people wishing me a Happy New Year. When I looked to see when they were sent, they had all been sent on New Year's Eve. Strange. Ok, so one of them was from my most recent ex boyfriend wishing me a Happy New Year. I felt extremely bad that I didn't respond to the message the night he sent it so I replied and we texted back and forth for awhile.
Another message I got was from this guy I met at a party a few months ago. It was nice to hear from him because I thought he had completely given up on me seeing as how I was extremely busy with Macbeth (yes I said it, no I'm not superstitious). Anywho, we started talking/texting which was nice. But I find it strange that all of these people from my past are showing up. I can't seem to figure out why. Like about 2 weeks ago, I got a friend request on Facebook from a guy that I knew all the way back in elementary/jr. high school. It's so strange.
Let's cut to last night. I walk into my Psych 105: Human Sexuality course and low and behold, there's a guy that I knew in high school that I had a thing with! And we've been placed in the same study group! I can't understand it. Why are all these people from my past showing up out of the blue?
However, something else happened to me yesterday. And it made me think about people from my past. For some reason, I wasn't receiving any text messages on my phone and I thought it was just because people weren't sending them. But, all of a sudden, in the middle of class, I received like 8 messages from various people wishing me a Happy New Year. When I looked to see when they were sent, they had all been sent on New Year's Eve. Strange. Ok, so one of them was from my most recent ex boyfriend wishing me a Happy New Year. I felt extremely bad that I didn't respond to the message the night he sent it so I replied and we texted back and forth for awhile.
Another message I got was from this guy I met at a party a few months ago. It was nice to hear from him because I thought he had completely given up on me seeing as how I was extremely busy with Macbeth (yes I said it, no I'm not superstitious). Anywho, we started talking/texting which was nice. But I find it strange that all of these people from my past are showing up. I can't seem to figure out why. Like about 2 weeks ago, I got a friend request on Facebook from a guy that I knew all the way back in elementary/jr. high school. It's so strange.
Let's cut to last night. I walk into my Psych 105: Human Sexuality course and low and behold, there's a guy that I knew in high school that I had a thing with! And we've been placed in the same study group! I can't understand it. Why are all these people from my past showing up out of the blue?
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