30 Hours

This is how I'm spending my weekend. My youth group decided to be apart of World Vision's "30 Hour Famine" in which we raised a little over $1,000 to go towards starving children all over the world. I'm so pround of my kids for doing this because that means they're raising awareness of something that is extremely important. WE ARE SO AWESOME!!!

1 year

One year, to some, can seem like a long time. But for others, it's not enough; like to someone who is given only one year to live. My aunt (really my mom's best friend, but she's more like family than even my own) was given one year to live earlier this week. She's fighting cancer for the fifth time in 16 years. I'm still in shock by the news because she's always beat it before and now, she's not. I don't know what to do. I'm in shock, I'm angry/frustrated, I'm sad, all at once. It's not fair. But, I know, life isn't fair. But she's come so far. And now, FIVE TIMES, all for nothing. NOTHING. This sucks. She's not gonna get to see her children get married, or get to see her grandkids (and what sucks even more is that she would make an awesome grandmother, and I know how much she wants to be a grandmother). I'm so upset. I don't want to lose her. Nobody does. Ugh.

Now, with that said, I guess we have to make the best of it. And I intend to. Every chance I get, every moment I get to spend with her, I will treasure it. DEARLY. Because she's an AMAZING woman and I love her like a second mother. If you were to ask me who my heroes are, she would MOST DEFINITELY be one of them, just because she's managed to fight cancer not once, but FIVE TIMES. I know that if I were in her shoes, I would have given up long ago, but by her being such a fighter, it just goes to show how amazing she truly is. And for that, I will always be grateful for her.

But, that doesn't mean that I can't still pray for a miracle. And believe me, I'm praying. I think a lot of us are due for some kind of miracle and I hope that she gets one. Because she deserves it, more than anyone.

P.S. I know that it isn't for nothing, because she lived a great life. I mean it in a different way than what everyone else thinks and it's hard for me to explain it to everyone so before you all start saying "It wasn't all for nothing," just realize that I mean it differently than what you might think.

Family

This past weekend was a lot about family. I guess that's what I get for going to my cousin's wedding. Actually, she's my 2nd cousin (my mom and her dad are 1st cousins) but I'm closer to her that my 1st cousins on that side of the family. Anyway, a lot of the family stuff was good (hello? It's a wedding. Of course it's good!) But some of it was not so good. There is one particular uncle that was there that we were once close to, but since my grandmother passed away, we've had some issues. He's not accepting of my sister at all which is sad because she's so wonderful and he doesn't even realize it. Nor does he care.

So Sunday, the day after the wedding, my mom's cousin had a family gathering at his house and invited all of the out of towners to be able to spend time with each other. It was nice and wonderful to spend time with some family that I had only met the day before as well as those that I've known for ages. We had to leave around 3 in order to make it home at a decent hour and when we left, my mom's cousin mentioned something about said uncle. My mom went into detail about how they don't get along and he said that he never understood why all of a sudden they (he and my uncle) were not so close, because they used to be more like brothers. We all got to talking and my mom came to the conclusion that it's because we don't fit a certain standard that my uncle has for people.

That makes me angry. That sort of thing doesn't matter when it comes to family because they're FAMILY. I can't stand that. It really sucks because if he would just get off of his damn high horse and see that at the end of the day, it's not about how much money you make or who you impress, but how much you are loved by others. By him doing this, he's losing the love and respect of his own flesh and blood and that is just sad. Ugh, whatever. I just needed to get that off of my chest.

My OCD in packing items

I'm leaving for a quick trip to Arizona tomorrow for my cousin's wedding. I realized today, just how incredibly OCD I can be when I'm packing things. I have to have everything that is mine in MY luggage. My mom has offered countless times to put things of mine in with her stuff but I can't stand it. I gave in to her offer of taking my dress for the wedding and putting it in her garment bag. It kills me. I don't know what it is about not having control over my stuff that bothers me so. I just like knowing that it is safe. Anyway, I leave at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning but hopefully I'll be able to have some rest and relaxation this weekend. We'll see...