Friday, April 24, 2009
Why do I keep doing things that go against my morals?
It only sets me up for a world of hurt. Is it because I need to experience humility? Because I have. On more than one occassion at this point. I'm now disappointed in myself, in others, hurt by said others, etc. I'm angry, frustrated, sad all because I did something I shouldn't have. Ugh. And I can't stop thinking about it either. And about the other person involved (actually, they are all I've thought about the past couple of days). I hate that. I'm trying not to regret what I did because regretting it doesn't change the fact that it happened. I just need to move on. I need to refocus and work towards achieving my goals. But it's easier said than done when you can't get your mind off of someone. Please don't let this hurt like it did the last time someone hurt me because I honestly can't take it. I know I probably won't survive it because I barely survived the last time. I have to move on. Hopefully I can.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
You can dance, you can jive!
Warning: the following contains just random thoughts that are running through my head.
As I listen to the song "Dancing Queen" more and more, I have come to realize that it is my favorite song. Not because it is well written (because I know songs that are well written, and this is not one of them), but because it is an upbeat, "Celebrate Life!" type of song. And it reminds me of a time in life when I was young(er) and carefree. And, it reminds me of Alex and Phi doing their gay dance during Unconcert which ALWAYS makes me laugh, even 7 years later. This song, no matter what mood I'm in (and lately, I've been in a bad mood), always brightens my day.
Visions that run through my mind on a consistent basis: Running around the UN trying to save the world from cruelties beyond our grasp. And teaching high school government; being that teacher that truly inspires her kids; if I do become a government teacher, one thing I'd implement in my class is holding elections so that my kids know what to expect and then I would use their votes to decide who I should vote for because I see my vote as counting for the amount of kids I teach. UCLA. Maybe Occidental. Meeting someone special and starting a family.That's it.
As I listen to the song "Dancing Queen" more and more, I have come to realize that it is my favorite song. Not because it is well written (because I know songs that are well written, and this is not one of them), but because it is an upbeat, "Celebrate Life!" type of song. And it reminds me of a time in life when I was young(er) and carefree. And, it reminds me of Alex and Phi doing their gay dance during Unconcert which ALWAYS makes me laugh, even 7 years later. This song, no matter what mood I'm in (and lately, I've been in a bad mood), always brightens my day.
Visions that run through my mind on a consistent basis: Running around the UN trying to save the world from cruelties beyond our grasp. And teaching high school government; being that teacher that truly inspires her kids; if I do become a government teacher, one thing I'd implement in my class is holding elections so that my kids know what to expect and then I would use their votes to decide who I should vote for because I see my vote as counting for the amount of kids I teach. UCLA. Maybe Occidental. Meeting someone special and starting a family.That's it.
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