Sleep...

I think I may have a mild form of insomnia. For the past few weeks, it's been a rare occassion for me to actually get a full night's sleep without my sleep cycle being interrupted. I usually go to bed around 10:30 or 11...sometimes 11:30 depending on what time I get home from rehearsal. Then I'll wake up around 3am, right around the time my dad gets up for work (he has to be at work at 4). Sometimes, I can get to sleep right away and be ok the next morning but others, I'll stay up for a couple of hours, only to fall asleep for a mere 30 minutes to an hour before I have to be up for work/school. It's been better since last week (I blame that on the fact that I was stressed about my situation with my now ex boyfriend) but it's still not what it could be. I like sleep, it rejuvenates me, but for some reason, I can't get enough of it. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep better soon.

needing to vent...

Yesterday was not the greatest day for me. To begin with, at the beginning of this week, I broke up with my boyfriend. And although I still love him, I feel that it was the right thing to do. He's taking it better than I had expected and we will try to remain friends, which is good. I feel bad that I broke up with him over a myspace message but in all honesty, I had no idea when I was going to see or talk to him in order to do it in person so really, that was my only option. But more importantly, I got the chance to express how I was feeling without him interupting me, which is what I needed. He read the message the next day and I feel like he didn't read the letter in its entirety (sp?) because he continued to ask me questions in which the answers were obviously stated (some of them 4 or 5 times) in the letter. Oh well. Although I'm sad about it, I know it was the right thing to do and I'm moving on.

After the whole "break up," I was just not in a good mood (as smoothly as it went, I'm still upset about it). Anything that anyone said or did yesterday just seemed to annoy the shit out of me (I also attribute these little annoyances to PMS but it seemed to be heightened after the events of Tuesday night). Take this girl in my math class:

I have a pretty cool math teacher (for those of you attending GCC, take Hassett, he's really cool!) and the way he takes attendance and checks that we did our homework is by giving us a little quiz in which he takes 2 problems from the homework that we are supposed to copy from our homework onto a blank sheet of paper. We cannot copy the problem from the book, it has to be from OUR homework. If you didn't do the homework or arrive late, you have to write your name on a blank piece of paper. So this girl gets caught copying the problems from her friend/neighbor's homework, NOT hers. The teacher sees this and proceeds to ask her to see HER homework which she does not turn up. He takes the sheet and rips it up and makes it rather clear that if she does it again, she's out of not just his class, but out of GCC (I believe his exact words were, "If I catch you doing it again, I will make sure that you can't get into any California Community College ever again." That's how serious he is about cheating). She, for whatever reason (maybe too much peroxide has seeped into her brain), can't seem to understand that she basically cheated and proceeds to ask why he tore up her homework quiz. After that whole thing was cleared up, it seemed like anything she said in class yesterday was THE DUMBEST COMMENT ALIVE!!! I wanted to punch her in the face every time she opened her mouth. It's like, the teacher would say something like, "2 + 2 = 4," and like 10 minutes later, she would ask, "Is 2 + 2, 4?" It was the most annoying thing ever. I hate it when people don't listen!!! Ugh. Anyway, I just needed to vent that.

On a different note, my dad got beat up by a 2 x 4 this past weekend. This pic is the result of what happened. We have an old house and my dad needed to re-enforce a wall so that we could hang our flat screen TV above our fireplace. The structure he built was perfectly level, but due to our house's age, the wall is not. He was placing the last piece between the ceiling and another piece and on one end, it fit but it was off about half an inch on the other end. He tried to force it into place and when he realized that it wasn't going to work, he pried the piece off and it fell and hit him smack dab on the eye. Now he has a VERY black eye, with about a one inch gash just above the eye. No concussion, just a big black eye. But a few nights later, he showed that piece of wood who was boss...

yesterday...

I took Kelly to the hospital yesterday because she fell and we thought she broke her arm. She's fine, nothing's broken but we went into the room to get discharged and this is what we saw. There's an entire cabinet devoted to vaginal hemorrhaging! Like they have so many people coming in with vaginal hemorrhages that they need to have an entire cabinet ready...I just find that weird.

On a plus side, I found out that I won't be auditioning people today. I'm just responsible for making sure that people are in the right place at the right time. And almost immediately after hearing that, my stomach stopped feeling "weird." You have no idea how happy that makes me. Now, if the show sucks due to crappy casting (which I'm sure it won't based on who I know that's trying out), at least it won't be my fault. Now, I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm going to have a breakfast burrito for breakfast. Decisions, decisions...

Something's not right...

...I can't sleep and my stomach feels "weird." That's the best that I can explain it. Weird...not good but not incredibly bad. But definitely not good. I think it's stress. School starts today, auditions are coming up and I've been told that I'm doing the auditioning. That would be great if I was directing the show, but I'm merely the assistant stage manager...and it's my first experience doing any kind of backstage work. I have a feeling that I may end up helping Kelly (the stage manager) direct the show...which would be ok if either of us had any experience directing or even stage managing. I fear I've gotten myself into some sort of mess. Hopefully everything will work out for the better...

adventure...

"I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand. I want so much more than they've got planned."

How typical of me to quote a disney song. But for some reason, right now, this little snipit of the song speaks volumes to me. I guess, on some level or another, this part of the song has always spoken to me but recently, I feel like I've been searching for something more than what I've got. I should be grateful for the things I have (and I am...probably more than anyone knows), but I'm still searching for that something to make me truely, truely happy. Oh well, I'm sure it's out there...I've just got to keep searching...until then, I'll just continue to relate to disney quotes.

I love reading...

I'm reading "Gone With the Wind" right now. I love that story. It's one of my favorite movies of all time. However, the book is taking me FOREVER to read. I've been reading it off and on (due to class scheduling) for like 8 months and am only on page 230! But, I still love the book. I think books are way more descriptive than movies and they allow you to imagine things differently than what movies provide. It's too bad that kids are reading books less and less these days. I feel like if they were to read, their imaginations would be so much better off. They rely so much on video games and television to keep them entertained. It's so sad. When I was a kid, my parents never let me have video games. I had to go to friends' houses to play them. I remember being so mad at them for not getting me that Super Nintendo but now that I look back on it, I have to thank them because if it wasn't for them, I would not have had to go outside and use my imagination to keep me entertained. I think that when I have kids, I'll do the same thing.

wth?

This week I've really been on edge. I'm positive it's PMS but I've never been this bitchy before. The other day, it seemed like anything that anybody said to me just annoyed the shit out of me. You could've told me I won a million dollars and I would've found reason to be pissed off. Oh well. I think the worst of it is over. If not, I pray for the poor souls that have to deal with me for the next week.

On a better note, I got a new phone yesterday! I'm so excited about it because for the past 3 months, anytime we've gone into the verizon store to upgrade, they've told us something different each time and we couldn't end up getting our new phones. My mom got a thing in the mail back in May saying that she (because her number is the primary number on the plan) was eligible for upgrade. So we go into the store thinking that we were all eligible and they said no, only she was eligible and that my dad and I would both be eligible at the end of July. So we went in last week (like around August 1st or something) to get our phones and then they said that I wasn't eligible until August 7 but that everyone else on the plan was. It was frustrating and I feel like this has been the longest week of my life (maybe that was why I was cranky, hmm) but when we went in yesterday, they FINALLY upgraded us! So now, I'm happy and content with my new phone.

I heard from Kim today. She's in Africa. It was such a bright spot on my day and her email gave me a smile :D. Although I miss her, I think that what she's doing is really awesome and it kind of makes me want to do it but I'm not sure if I would be able to. I think I need to research more. I can't wait to see what happens while she's on her journey and I look forward to her safe return home (whenever that might be).